Today is the day that I hate the most in my office. It's called Pig Out Day. And it's the epitome of why I hate this gluttonous, consumer-driven holiday. There are at least a hundred people roaming the hallways avoiding work and eating today - all in the name of the "holiday season." And not just eating bites here and there but piling their plates with the fattiest, greasiest, most unhealthy food they can find. And the piles threaten to topple over at any moment with the weight of the food on them. The smells in the hallways make me gag and the site of the same overweight, unhealthy people going back to the crock pots over and over again make me want to scream. When I explain to co-workers why I haven't brought any food and I won't eat any food, they explain, "Oh COME ON. This only happens once per year."
Oh yeah? How about Halloween? How about Thanksgiving? How about all the Christmas parties? How about New Years Eve? That isn't once per year; it's three months of the year. And no wonder we all need New Years resolutions: So we can take off all the pounds we put on over the "once per year" holiday season....
And I realize that my inexplicable visceral reaction to a day is more about me than about anyone else. But I just have to take this moment to say that I really can't stand the gluttonous consumerism and excesses this "holiday" tolerates. And I thought the poster child couldn't get anymore obvious than this day. I was proved oh-so-wrong about the animal instincts this holiday evokes when a Wal-mart greeter gets trampled by the herds of animals shopping for the perfect cheapest gift for the "spirit of the holidays" and when the police came the shoppers got MAD BECAUSE THE POLICE INTERRUPTED THEIR SHOPPING.
I get spitting mad when I get on this subject. And Internet, I'm usually a happy-go-lucky person that just wants everyone to get along. But this is something that will bring out the devil in me every year. So in order to let all my co-workers just have their gluttonous day without my stupid rantings, I'll write about it here for you, Internet. Aren't you lucky?
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1 comment:
Did anyone bring any bacon? Because if someone had, I think you'd feel differently about this day. Mmm. Bacon.
Next year just bring a bucket of lard and put a spoon in it. That'll bring the point home.
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