Thunder and Lightning

I grew up in Bismarck, North Dakota. On a regular basis during my childhood, the clouds rolled in from miles away - maybe even 100 miles away and I could witness every inch of its approach. Montana calls itself The Big Sky State but I beg to differ. There is nothing to make you feel smaller than the approach of gigantic looming billowing clouds against a dark and ominous sky. It's as if you were about to be devoured by alien spaceships as they land on Earth in the air and space upon which you stand. I remember very well the childhood memory of oscillating between fear and awe as they approached overhead. I get sad that this occurance doesn't trigger my memories very often anymore given the state of our warming globe. Back in the day, it was almost every other day during the summer that precipitation threatened to bring me inside sooner than I would have liked.

Today, we had a thunderstorm. And while I sat in my office and the little window behind me seemed to let in less light, I realized that the sky was darkening. Within the time it took for me to get up, move about 50 feet to the entrance of the building so that I could take a look, the thunder struck and the lightning flashed. And as I stood there for about 20 more seconds to watch its performance, the clounds parted and the sun shone; hardly the extra-terrestrial experience I had as a child. Knowing that I have global warming to blame, I felt robbed of the simple pleasure of fear and anticipation of a good thunderstorm.

But even as I realized that global warming has taken so much, the smell of rain that lingered in the air allowed me to linger in nostalgia for a little longer...

Dog Punt

Today, I ran outside! This is an accomplishment given that I have heretofore been able to run just 25 mins on the treadmill and that's, let's face it, just not the same thing. Anything that is propelling my legs to move whether I exert the effort or not is hardly the same as moving my own damned dimply, weak, wiggly leg on my own. The only drawback to running outside was the YET ANOTHER yippy, little wiry-haired asshole dog that came running at me and Sake and scared both of us almost enough that we lept across the street in a single bound. And once again, when I screamed at the dog to "GET AWAY! GO! GET OUT OF HERE!," the owner fell all over herself to apologize as she scampered after the dumb thing. I didn't say anything to her but hurried my dog away noticing that his hair was standing on end and his lip was quivering; the sure sign of his usual dumb-dog-that-bites-my-legs-so-I-kick-his-ass attitude. I was thankful that I didn't react as I did the last time this happened. And that was to tell the owner, in a clenched teeth, barely containing myself way, "I WILL kick that thing all the way to hell if you don't get it away from me."

Where the deer and the antelope play ...

Given my propensity for strange dreams when there are significant changes in my life about to occur, I have been especially prone to them lately. Hubs has decided to get his PhD from the U. of Calgary, yes, CDoc, as in Canada. And because this is a major change in lifestyle for the two of us, I have had strange dreams.

One dream, not long ago, Hubs was having an affair with a horribly ugly professor at the U who said, "a boot" rather than "about." And then last night, I had a dream that I tried for days to contact Hubs and he couldn't be reached. When I finally got in touch with Hubs in my dream, he explained his disappearance from society as his decision to live in the wild with the antelope where he could, as he told me, "Run free from government intrusion in his life spanning corridors and migrate for as far as 500 miles without oil and gas development to be seen."

It didn't make sense in my dream either but it was an exhibit of the very sparse facts I know about the project upon which he'll be spending his next 4 years.

I think in both dreams, he was cheating on me - one with a woman and the other with the antelope.

They got me ....

I subscribe to the daily tips on www.idealbite.com which is an eco-friendly website that claims to make living green a more hip thing to do. The site includes some funny quirky things to make it more interesting to read; probably part of its "hip"ness. One of the Daily Tidbits, entitled "Getting Sauced" suggested some organic sauces to try. They provide a "Personally Speaking" opinion about it such as: "We taste-tested the Soy Vay Teriyaki Sauce and all agreed: You could put this stuff on anything - even a shoe - and it'd still taste good." They even warn against the use by under-18-year-olds because of its "saucy" language - right up my aisle, I'd say.

But one day I opened the Daily Tidbit and it told me this: "Yes, yes, yes! Everyone knows to turn used condoms inside-out for another go, but with a quick rinse, you can save additional latex and cash by using condoms three times before chucking 'em, instead of just two. Recycling just got 33% sexier."

And I couldn't believe what I was reading. Are you SERIOUS? Reusing condoms? We've joked about reusing condoms but people ACTUALLY do it (yes, I know they "do it" but I didn't know they'd "do it" with a used condom).

I kept reading: "The Benefits: Making cents while making love. Think of all the pennies you coulda saved if you'd adopted this tip during your slutty phase in college."

WOW, this really is funny and HIP. But seriously?

And then in the Personally Speaking section: "Condoms can tear during rinsing even if you're careful, so be gentle. That said, we've been doing this for years, and it's resulted in only three unexpected pregnancies. "

And then I looked at the date: April 1, 2008.