I have been keeping up with my Newbies, but can't find the time to blog about them. I could give you all the usual excuses about work and more work but that would make for a boring, whiney blog, so I won't ...
On Monday night I hosted my first book club. I have hosted book clubs before but this time, which I think makes it a Newbie, it was MY book club. I organized it, asked the people, invited them to my house, picked the book and launched it at my house with great food and wine. I think it went over well. We read a powerful book called "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseini. I won't tell you the details of the book but will give you a synopsis of the story of women in Afghanistan: "Like a compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman. Always." The book celebrates the ability of women to endure. This quote from a 17th Century poem by Saib-e-Tabrizi stands as a theme and namesake of this book: "One could not count the moons that shimmer on her roofs, or the thousand splendid suns that hide behind her walls."
On Tuesday I had a Newbie at work. First, it was new for me to work at my second moonlighting job by myself. That could have been a Newbie in itself but rather, I would like to count my interaction with Amy. Amy is a short, roung, happy, little, adorable and proud woman who has developmental disabilities. She appeared older than me but was probably developed to the stage of a young child. She went there to work out with her father and took a liking to me immediately. She slapped my hand and told me Merry Christmas many times over. She visited me while she was supposed to be on the treadmill and when it was time to go, she got very sad and hugged me around the waist. It caught me off-guard to the point that it almost knocked me over. She seemed so happy when I hugged her back that I was ashamed of my surprised reaction to her hug. As she left the gym, she called to me, "I'm going to come talk to you again Bucky." It made my whole night.
I'm not sure I can beat that one tonight, but my friends and I are getting together for a Chick-mas Party so there is sure to be something new to report from that! Maybe a new drink ....
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007
Exploration Works
AVD and I spent much of Sunday together exploring our inner child at the new children's museum in town, Exploration Works. SO FUN. If you haven't been there, GO. AVD wanted to go solely becaues she knows the woman who makes the puppets for the children's puppet shows. And I went solely because I hadn't planned a Newbie for the day. The match was perfect.
We explored the exhibits, learned a bit and then headed to the puppet show, Three Billy Goats Gruff. My favorite exhibit was the game where you competed to out-relax your opponent. The winner could move a ball, by brain activity indicated by the brain-sensor headband that computed brainwaves onto the screen, to the opponent's circle on a table by being more relaxed. Every time I started to laugh, the brainwaves went berzerk and the ball would come toward me. Every time I concentrated to relax and closed my eyes, the ball went straight to my opponent's circle. Fascinating.
The puppet show was pretty cute but the little kids at the puppet show were painfully cute. At one point, the troll under the bridge decided to take a nap and snored loudly. A little girl behind me, couldn't have been older than 3, whispered in the not-at-all-a-whisper-yet-she-thought-she-was-whispering kind to her Papa sitting next to her, "That sounds like Grandma." I thought it sounded like my Mama (sorry Mama). I paid more attention to the reaction by the kids than the puppet show itself.
I highly recommend a visit to the museum. It's a great place to take your kids or, if you don't have them, take yourself to discover the kid in you.
We explored the exhibits, learned a bit and then headed to the puppet show, Three Billy Goats Gruff. My favorite exhibit was the game where you competed to out-relax your opponent. The winner could move a ball, by brain activity indicated by the brain-sensor headband that computed brainwaves onto the screen, to the opponent's circle on a table by being more relaxed. Every time I started to laugh, the brainwaves went berzerk and the ball would come toward me. Every time I concentrated to relax and closed my eyes, the ball went straight to my opponent's circle. Fascinating.
The puppet show was pretty cute but the little kids at the puppet show were painfully cute. At one point, the troll under the bridge decided to take a nap and snored loudly. A little girl behind me, couldn't have been older than 3, whispered in the not-at-all-a-whisper-yet-she-thought-she-was-whispering kind to her Papa sitting next to her, "That sounds like Grandma." I thought it sounded like my Mama (sorry Mama). I paid more attention to the reaction by the kids than the puppet show itself.
I highly recommend a visit to the museum. It's a great place to take your kids or, if you don't have them, take yourself to discover the kid in you.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Bunion
I can't run anymore without severe pain shooting through my right foot shortly afterward. I have a throbbing bunion that keeps me up at night. I know; really glamorous. It has taken on a whole personality of it's own. So, for Saturday's Newbie, I named my bunion. It's not an effective consolation for being unable to run but it's fun nonetheless.
First, I wanted to name it Bonny for some alliteration: Bonny Bunion sounds good. But then I decided that Bonny is boring and my life will become boring enough if the fix for Bunion is something drastic like surgery. Rather, I named my bunion Rafael - extravagant and worldly; unlike the bunion itself.
First, I wanted to name it Bonny for some alliteration: Bonny Bunion sounds good. But then I decided that Bonny is boring and my life will become boring enough if the fix for Bunion is something drastic like surgery. Rather, I named my bunion Rafael - extravagant and worldly; unlike the bunion itself.
Friday, December 14, 2007
You have the right to remain silent ...
I couldn't have picked a better Newbie myself. Yesterday I got the I-don't-really-know-how-to-tell-you-this line from Hubs. What he told me presented the best Newbie I have had and will possibly ever have again: "You have a warrant out for your arrest." The city website contained my name on a very long list of active arrest warrants.
Luckily, the real "crime" was nothing other than an old parking ticket. However, the laughs and leverage I get out of being a "criminal" is worth every cent of the $70 I had to pay to clear my good name.
Luckily, the real "crime" was nothing other than an old parking ticket. However, the laughs and leverage I get out of being a "criminal" is worth every cent of the $70 I had to pay to clear my good name.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Ode to My Hangnail
Oh hangnail, lovely hangnail
You test my propensity to gnaw
You get my attention with every snag
You disqualify from Dove commercials my love paw
You arlert me to sweaters and gloves that lack good knit
You make my expensive choice of hand creme more legit
If I had my choice, we would never have met
And I could have perptually smooth hands
Alas, we will live with our disfunctional bond
Fate, against our desires, had other plans
I wrote this yesterday while pondering amendments to a document that had me stifled. It just flowed and a Newbie was created. I think I could be published.
Oh hangnail, lovely hangnail
You test my propensity to gnaw
You get my attention with every snag
You disqualify from Dove commercials my love paw
You arlert me to sweaters and gloves that lack good knit
You make my expensive choice of hand creme more legit
If I had my choice, we would never have met
And I could have perptually smooth hands
Alas, we will live with our disfunctional bond
Fate, against our desires, had other plans
I wrote this yesterday while pondering amendments to a document that had me stifled. It just flowed and a Newbie was created. I think I could be published.
Great First Impression
Never fear - I've been keeping up with my Newbies even though I haven't had the time to write about them....
Tuesday, I started a second job at the local gym; first night training with one other dude that has been working there since the beginning of time. I'm just doing front desk work and while it's easy, it could test my creativity in it's own ways that my Newbie task never could. I value it for the free gym membership and for another focus in my life. My list of newbies for the night runs long, therefore.
1. Cleaned treadmills - cleaning is not new to me, but cleaning treadmills is; disgusting, sweat-drenched machines that also collect static dust into the puddles of sweat. I figured it's par for the course given that I'm usually the one making the puddles of sweat...
2. Cleaned windows at the gym; I don't even clean windows at my own house ...
3. Wore the cutesie little uniform shirt and a nametag;
4. Greeted grumpy visitors to the gym who clearly needed to work out; maybe I'll do a tally of how many grumps leave still grumpy after their workout - another newbie for another time...
5. Checked out the men's locker room; I even used the toilet in the men's locker room just for the most legitimate newbie material; it almost killed me. Just a question - how do men get pubies on the toilet seat? (It's a legitmate question!)
My favorite newbie of the night was of a different variety though. I managed to offend the very first co-worker with whom I worked. I was, per usual, swearing up a storm throughout the training. I made sure that our guests didn't hear me, but I certainly didn't hold back to my co-worker. I didn't notice until too late that my co-worker was not swearing and would, instead, say things like 'biscuits' for emphasis. Although he had worked at the gym since the beginning of time, he looked like he was approximately 15 years old, minus 3 years. So I used my very sophisticated personality-analyzing mechanism and assumed he wasn't going to mind my sailor-like language.
By the end of the evening, I was finally catching wind of the lack of reciprocal swearing and apologized. His response? "Well, yes, I did notice that and you'll have to cut down on that during work because we don't want our customers to hear us talking so unprofessionally." Logical explanation, but then he said, "Thank God you said something because I wouldn't have felt comfortable bringing it up." And while he said, "Thank God," he emphasized with a cross pattern across his chest that I couldn't imitate without offending again.
Good start, huh?
Tuesday, I started a second job at the local gym; first night training with one other dude that has been working there since the beginning of time. I'm just doing front desk work and while it's easy, it could test my creativity in it's own ways that my Newbie task never could. I value it for the free gym membership and for another focus in my life. My list of newbies for the night runs long, therefore.
1. Cleaned treadmills - cleaning is not new to me, but cleaning treadmills is; disgusting, sweat-drenched machines that also collect static dust into the puddles of sweat. I figured it's par for the course given that I'm usually the one making the puddles of sweat...
2. Cleaned windows at the gym; I don't even clean windows at my own house ...
3. Wore the cutesie little uniform shirt and a nametag;
4. Greeted grumpy visitors to the gym who clearly needed to work out; maybe I'll do a tally of how many grumps leave still grumpy after their workout - another newbie for another time...
5. Checked out the men's locker room; I even used the toilet in the men's locker room just for the most legitimate newbie material; it almost killed me. Just a question - how do men get pubies on the toilet seat? (It's a legitmate question!)
My favorite newbie of the night was of a different variety though. I managed to offend the very first co-worker with whom I worked. I was, per usual, swearing up a storm throughout the training. I made sure that our guests didn't hear me, but I certainly didn't hold back to my co-worker. I didn't notice until too late that my co-worker was not swearing and would, instead, say things like 'biscuits' for emphasis. Although he had worked at the gym since the beginning of time, he looked like he was approximately 15 years old, minus 3 years. So I used my very sophisticated personality-analyzing mechanism and assumed he wasn't going to mind my sailor-like language.
By the end of the evening, I was finally catching wind of the lack of reciprocal swearing and apologized. His response? "Well, yes, I did notice that and you'll have to cut down on that during work because we don't want our customers to hear us talking so unprofessionally." Logical explanation, but then he said, "Thank God you said something because I wouldn't have felt comfortable bringing it up." And while he said, "Thank God," he emphasized with a cross pattern across his chest that I couldn't imitate without offending again.
Good start, huh?
Monday, December 10, 2007
Lefty Notes
I tried to write notes for tomorrow's presentation with my left hand; a Newbie. I say tried because although I have a whole page full of scribbles, they resemble nothing of writing. I intended to take a photo of the page to prove the total futility of using my left hand, but got too busy at work to play with my camera. Rather, someone should take a video of me giving the presentation tomorrow while I attempt to read the notes. Could be a You Tube most popular.
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