Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Sleep Deprived?

I haven't slept well in about a week. I have analyzed the patterns in my life hoping to get some clue to why I spend my nights tossing and turning rather than sound asleep like a bear in my den for winter. I can't detect a pattern that makes sense but I considered a few things to figure it out.

First, I thought it was white wine. A couple glasses have kept me from falling asleep readily. But, I haven't drunk enough to keep me up for a WEEK?!?!? And I considered candy. Maybe I was eating candy too late in the evening and it's kept me up. Nope, I cut it out a few nights ago and still no sleep. Then I considered stress: Hubs is in another country, we live on one income, CDoc is living with me, work is Crazy, election coming up ... but none of this is new. Hubs has been gone for 2 months and we've lived on one income for that long now too. CDoc has been living with me for 2 months and it's been quite easy. Work is rarely NOT busy and has bordered on schizophrenic on and off for 10 years; nothing new there... And then there's the election. Could it be that? Obama is doing quite well in the polls (but YOU STILL MUST VOTE FOR IT TO CONTINUE THIS WAY). I worry about the final tally coming out like the one 8 years ago that put us into the dire situation we're facing now. So, while it could be this election, I feel like I'm usually able to handle these situations with little more than tearing off a few fingernails (which are gone, by the way). The patterns aren't adding up.

I've never had sleeping problems before. In fact, I can sleep in the middle of grizzly bear country with merely a sleeping bag and a nylon tent separating us; both of which would be like plastic wrapping on a meat package for a bear. When I awake with a start because I hear noise that could be a bear outside my tent, I tell myself that there's really nothing I can do at this time but ignore it and it'll go away. And I fall back to sleep.

But last night, I was able to sleep through most of the night. And I awoke this morning cozy in my bed with sleep still hanging on me. I didn't want to get up! The only thing I can think of that I did differently last night than any other night: I inadvertently left the heater on for half the night ... (GASP) This is something I have railed on Hubs for doing, claiming that I can't sleep in the hot, dry heated room. Hubs LOVES to be roasting under piles of blankets with cotton mouth and deep crevices in his face from the hot, dry air (I claim it causes wrinkles). And really, I usually can't sleep in that. But last night I awoke at 1 a.m. pissed off at myself for leaving the heater on. So, I stomped downstairs and turned it off and then opened my bedroom window just a wee bit. In seconds, I was back to sleep. Warmth, fresh air. Ahhhhh.

I think there has been a general lack of warmth in our house since Hubs has been gone. And maybe what I need is coziness of temperature if I can't have coziness of affection. Totally lame and I still won't tell Hubs, but it's all I can come up with ...

Whatever it is, I'm doing it again tonight.

1 comment:

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