Boy/Girl

Time flies! Greysen is a little boy already. He loves trains, trucks (BEEEEG trucks), bugs, leaves, sticks, rocks, and everything else that is so stereotypically boys. Cassie bought him fairy wings and he turned them into a butterfly. He loves his dolls and "loveys" when he goes to bed but he prefers to play with the things that go.

Greysen also loves to cuddle, smooch, give OOOOh-AAAAhs (huggs), and smile and say "hi" to everyone that comes within earshot of him. He is as sweet as can be; even gets sensitive when I tell him no in a stern voice or exhibit any sort of displeasure with him. I am NOT suggesting this is a "girl" thing by any means but this is a balance I enjoy to the toughness of his "all-boy" attitude.

I am sensitive to encouraging so many "boy" things in his life. I am not naive to think that my worry is not contributing to the very problem I perceive. But I can't help but wonder if there is something I should be doing to encourage a more balanced approach to the "boy-girl" thing. If anyone continues to read this and want to give some suggestions, please do. I'm all ears. And I'm equally open to the idea that I worry too much about nothing. Wouldn't be the first time.

Do tell ...

Sweet Baby Grey

As promised, I've started a new blog. I won't be posting to this one any longer. Please continue to visit the new one dedicated to my sweet baby Greysen Jakes: www.sweetbabygrey.blogspot.com I'll post much more regularly there.

Adios!

New Beginnings

Greysen Alexander Jakes was born March 22, 2010 at 5:38 a.m. by c-section after many many hours (days) of labor. We are blessed to have a happy, healthy baby boy that was 7 lbs 6.9 oz and was 20.5 inches long when born. He shrunk to 19.75 inches when he was discharged because of the cone head he sported from being stuck in my pelvic region for so long. And he's already gained a good 2 lbs since birth as he's a voracious eater. We think he's adorable and have decided to keep him.

I am starting a blog that will be dedicated to Greysen and the Jakes family and the milestones we reach in parenting, baby development, and just general daily life. I'm afraid it means that I will likely retire The Brief as I can't imagine keeping up with two blogs given that I can hardly keep up with one regularly. I'll post the name and location of my new blog when I figure out what to call it and write the first post.

Stay tuned ...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA! Your gift is on it's way ... will arrive in a swaddled package around March 20! Love you!

What does this mean?

I dreamt that I was losing all my teeth one right after another the other night. And then I woke up with a really sore jaw.

And the next night I had a dream that I was in line at a buffet with three of my high school girlfriends at our 20-year reunion. We talked to a high school classmate while ordering drinks. I was visibly pregnant so he asked me why I was ordering a mojito and I told him that this kid has been in there for 2 years so he'd be fine to have a little rum deliciousness. And then he told me his wife couldn't join us because she was bowling.

RANDOM.

If I were a dream interpreter, I would tell myself that this just means that I'm going to give birth soon ... in approximately 4 weeks, give or take a few.

Pilates

We were in the position yesterday at pilates where you lie on your back on the machine with your legs straight in the air at a 90 degree angle to your hips squeezing a ring between your ankles . It's never been my favorite position because of the exertion it takes just to be in the position - and THEN you begin the movement of your legs and arms and it becomes increasingly difficult. Now that I'm preggers, even the resting position is increasingly difficult so this one has fast become the bane of my existence during pilates. It was no shocker then, that the instructor pointed at me during class to admonish my slacking effort on maintaining the 90 degree angle I was certain my legs were NOT in.

Except she wasn't pointing at my legs. When I looked down to see what I was doing wrong, I noticed the real subject of her inquisition; my belly. It was protruding in a cone-shaped fashion from the very apex of my roundness. My guess is that the Little Man was trying to heed her instruction to extend his legs at a 90 degree angle to his body inside my belly. And it made a perfect point at the top of my round belly. I tried to push it back down and he pushed right back at me keeping the position much better than I could. I started to laugh and that was all I could take. Each time I would get up, I'd gain composure; lie back down, and he'd point his foot right out my belly again.

I think the Little Man is going to be good at pilates; certainly better than his Mama. And stubborn too; just like his Mama.

No wonder ...

I'm visiting my midwife every two weeks now. But last week, in-between the regularly scheduled two-week visits, I had to visit my midwife during the off-week because of some unexpected and sharp pains that just appeared out of nowhere. Everything turned out fine but per usual, I had to be weighed. I'm supposed to be gaining a pound per week now. And since I didn't gain anything last time I was there (only a week before), I fully expected to have gained a good 2 pounds. I stepped on the scale and *gulp* FOUR MORE POUNDS.

Even in pregnancy, I can't condition myself to welcome all that weight. I can accept that I need to gain weight so that the Little Man can be nourished and develop at a healthy pace, but my mind canNOT get around weight gain at such a rapid pace. I've had 37 years of conditioning myself that rapid weight loss or gain is a BAAA-AAAD thing. Naturally, I exclaimed, "FOUR POUNDS in ONE WEEK. That can't be healthy." The nurse really paid no mind, probably accustomed to this response from new mothers, and put me in a room to ponder the meaning of life after news like that.

When midwife Carol joined me, I asked her about this four pounds. She calmly said, "Let me see your ankles." So, I pulled up my pant legs and sure enough, they were cankles. Swollen almost beyond recognition. And she said, "There's your explanation. You're retaining water." I was actually relieved. Swollen ankles don't hurt anyone.

So, I told this story to a co-worker yesterday while we were on our way back from a work trip in Missoula. I was eating my usual afternoon snack about 2 hours after I'd eaten a salad for lunch. It consisted of a fruit bar and a handful of nuts. This co-worker, when I offered her some nuts, said to me, "Now I see why you've gained 4 pounds in one week."

It's no WONDER women can't accept weight gain even in pregnancy ...

This Sunday will be one year since my old friend passed on from this life. I've thought a lot about him and what he left behind and how much impact he's had on the world even since he's been gone. I had a dream last night that he picked me up on the star he's been riding (undoubtedly too fast and too crazy). And he took me on a ride to see the world and how really brilliant it is from up there in his perch in the sky. He was there to teach me the beauty in this world so that I could then teach my child in case I should ever forget. It was a sweet sweet dream and I was thankful to see him even if it was only in my dreams.

It was a lesson I sorely sorely needed right now ...

This past Tuesday was a tragedy of epic proportions in Haiti that has left so many people reeling. I have seen images and heard stories of their overwhelming grief and sadness. I close my eyes during yoga and can't get the image out of my head of a father holding his dead baby wrapped in a bloody cloth with a face of horror, grief, shock and sadness. My heart swells for this man I don't know and I'm desperate to find something I can do for these people.

And today I heard the news I've been dreading from my friend whose husband has been battling brain cancer like a champion for 8 years. He has very little time left to spend with his two young children and wife.

After all that ...

I've been living in total and utter chaos for the past few weeks. And this week, it got a little better.

In October of last year, we purchased new countertops. Exciting, yes. But disruptive too. And it was this week that Paul, the countertop guy, FINALLY decided to install the counters. Because the "rebuild" of our basement has moved at glacial speed since the pipe burst in mid-December, I still have piles of our junk on every chair, floorspace and counter on the main and upper floor. And I get to look forward to this type of living for the next couple weeks (at least). The dogs have to stay in the smallest bathroom upstairs during the day because there isn't a place where they wouldn't be in the way (of the rebuild guys) or they wouldn't have their menu of tasty treats (probably even razors, another story) to chew if they were so inclined. And right now, I get to live and sleep with the delicious smell of drying primer on our basement walls.

So, this week, when Paul decided to bring in the countertops, I had to find a place to put all the counter items (toaster over, wine rack, etc) and the additional items from the basement temporarily taking refuge on the counters, somewhere else on the already-packed main and upper floors. I contemplated making him wait to install until the rebuild was done. But at the rate we'd be going, our child would be 2 before we got our new counters. Now the only place I don't have to worry about knocking something over is my bed. I'd take pictures to give you a really good idea of what I'm talking about, but frankly, I don't want to preserve any of this mess for posterity.

Luckily it only took Paul one day to finish the install and the plumber a couple days to re-install the sink. And now I have a shiny new kitchen ...

With ugly counters and the need of new paint color on the walls. Yeah, I'm serious. After all that ...

What a week...

Welll, what can I say? This week suck(s)(ed). I'm on the up-swing and can write about it now with optimism in my heart ... Tuesday morning I awoke to whining pipes during my shower. An hour later, I was mopping up water in my basement; puddles under the floorboards, water spewing across the room; wet insulation and boards inside my walls. The plumber took 1/2 hour to fix it and Servicemaster will be there for weeks mopping up the mess, drying the walls, replacing insulation, and putting the pieces back together.

Yes, insurance will cover a good portion of it but there remains question about separate claims and leaky pipes and moving water heaters and toilets for repairs and how much will be covered with that... But, the bright side is that we will have a new basement for the Little Man when he arrives. New floor, new walls, new pipe, new insulation.

And the fact that my brain jumps mostly to the bright side now is quite a feat given that my propensity yesterday was to belly up (and what a belly it would be) to the bar and order a few stiff ones.

Progress, right?

Tan?

You'd think I could bring myself to write something witty, funny and interesting given all the time I've spent indoors of late. Alas, all I can do is blog about the weather (poster-child for small-talk when you have nothing else to talk about). Today we had a heat wave - it got to TWENTY. That was 30 degrees warmer than the days of late and almost FIFTY degrees warmer than some of the lows of late. I talked to an attorney in Florida two days ago and he was lamenting the cold spell - 60 degrees. I told him that was 63 degrees warmer than our weather. His response? I didn't know it still got that cold in the U.S. I told him he's had too much sun if he was serious. His response? He's losing his tan really quickly.

Wow. That's all I can say.

Imaginary Friend

Hubs and I have both been accused of having imaginary partners. I didn't meet B, Hubs' roommate until a few weeks back when I finally went to visit them in Calgary. B had to put up with me and the two dogs so he found just how real it all was. And I generally attend events and goings-on about town without Hubs because he's not around on a day-to-day basis for those day-to-day events that come up. I've had many comments about my imaginary husband. He's also not the commenting type on this blog so he is generally absent here too. But just so you all can remember or be convinced of his existence, here we are a couple weeks back in Calgary enjoying some time together. Isn't he cute?

Mopey and Dopey

The Fam is gone and I'm sad. It's inevitable and you'd think I could get accustomed to it given that Hubs routinely heads back to Calgary/school and I'm left with an empty house. But this time, I had a housefull of Family that made the house feel like Home; all cozy and well, crowded. Now, I'm left with just me and the two dogs to keep me company ... and they're moping too. I like to call them Mopey and Dopey when they're like this. Since I can't sit around and mope with the dogs cuz I have a conference to teach (YIKES) on Thursday and I have to go to work, I'll drown my sorrows in some leftover wild rice/turkey soup and sweet potatoes (that quite honestly were the best thing on our Thanksgiving table - Thanks Dave!). I do love me some Thanksgiving leftovers.(I know Hubs, it doesn't make sense, but this is me!)

I'm counting down the sleeps until Hubs gets to come home (22 sleeps to go) - I'm even making a string of paper rings so that I can tear one off each day until he gets back. That will give me and the dogs something to look forward to and maybe it'll help us all mope a little less.

The Belly

In the past three weeks, I've had significant development in The Belly. I think I've finally, as they say, popped... The Belly now has an identity of its own as it needs new clothes, moves on its own and generally demands more attention than the rest of me combined. I've had to start taking anti-heartburn meds because The Belly is squishing all my innards to the point where there's no room for normal food processing to occur. I went into work yesterday with one of my coats zipped up and had a good laugh with a co-worker when I walked in looking like the kid on A Christmas Story where he was so bundled up that he couldn't really move. I've also gotten comments from co-workers while looking at The Belly like: "Well, looks like I haven't seen you in awhile," when, in reality, its only been a week.

Last night, I was sitting quietly in bed reading my book and saw The Belly bounce under my t-shirt. I can't deny that it freaked me out. It's like watching your own body's development from an outside perspective and having no control or choice in how that happens. It's also a little like when your arm is still attached to your body but you've slept on it long enough to totally deaden the nerves and your arm flaps around like it's not connected to your body. I felt as though The Belly was taking over my body and was going to do what it wanted when it wanted ... and I guess it really is.

Maybe this is how pregnancy prepares a woman for parenthood.

Crack, errr I mean Crave

The first time I'd ever been to Calgary to visit Hubs was when we drove here (I'm visiting here now) with Amy and Rory for the weekend. We had tickets to the Neil Young concert and thought we'd make a trip of it together. For the afternoon on Saturday, we went to a hip little area of town called Kensington and discovered the most delictable, delicious little place in all of the city simply by putting our nose to the breeze and sniffing it out. Literally. We rounded a corner and VOILA, there it was; a line out the door and around the corner for just one little cupcake. Some were there for more than one cupcake but we didn't yet know the delight that was the cupcake and how much more the delight could give us if we had more than one cupcake. We were about to find out. We were, however, smart enough to figure out that it had to be good if man, woman and child would stand in line for that long just to experience Crave, the home of the famous cupcake.

Tomorrow, we plan to go to Crave again and my biggest dilemma is what to get. I no longer just go there for one cupcake. Oh no, that won't do it. I've promised these little delights to friends and family back home and I cannot disappoint. I can't imagine what it is about these delicious things that makes me come back time and again. But my suspicion is that, if labeled with the ingredients on the side of the package, the cupcake would read something like this:

Ingredients: Butter, Sugar, Chocolate, CRACK.

And then I'd know why I am destined to come back time and time again.

Cupcakes Make Everything Better

The Little Guy in my belly has been kicking regularly now. I've even detected a pattern: He kicks in the mornings to wake me up and say hello. And then he's active shortly after lunch until around 4:30. I like to feel the kicking because I know he's still in there and hasn't taken a leave of absence.

A few days ago, he didn't kick in the morning, or in the afternoon. And the next morning, on my way to Calgary to visit Hubs, I started to worry a bit because he hadn't been active for over 24 hours at that point. When I spoke with Hubs while I drove to see him, he seemed a little worried but we made the plan that if we still didn't feel anything by the next day, I would get in touch with someone about it.

A few hours later I arrived in Calgary to Hubs with open arms, and cupcakes in one hand. He had the idea that maybe a little sugar might make the Little Guy move. And he was right. I ate half the cupcake (but NOT the Crave cupcake that it really should have been... another story) and he nearly flipped right out of my belly. I've had sugar in those quantities before, but I hadn't had any for a couple days to that point and VOILA, it worked! It was a relief to feel him kick again and I've felt his little movements regularly ever since.

Lullaby for Little Man

Dragon tales and the "water is wide"
Pirate's sail and lost boys fly
Fish bite moonbeams every night
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
GodspeedSweet dreams

The rocket racer's all tuckered out
Superman's in pajamas on the couch
Goodnight moon, we'll find the mouse
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
GodspeedSweet dreams

God bless mommy and match box cars
God bless dad and thanks for the stars
God hears "Amen," wherever we are
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed Godspeed Sweet dreams

by Dixie Chicks

Temporary Loss

On Tuesday morning, I took out a plastic container for my breakfast just like I do every single morning. And just like every other morning during, I cut my strawberries and then pour my yogurt over the top so that I have breakfast of yogurt, strawberries and almonds at work to enjoy while responding to emails every morning. As I poured the yogurt over the strawberries, I realized that I was pouring the yogurt over the strawberries that I'd cut into our wicker fruit basket instead of the plastic container. Luckily I didn't pour too much yogurt so I only had to clean the wicker of strawberry juice. I was shocked at how long into the process I'd gone before I realized my mistake.

Wednesday morning I put my contacts into my eyes and then decided that it was time for me to switch the once-per-month contacts that I'd worn for three months because they were blurry and cleaning overnight wasn't helping. Much to my chagrin though, my new contacts were even more blurry than the old ones even after I'd gone through the process twice of taking them out, examining them, cleaning them with saline, putting them back in to no avail. When I took them out a third time, I examined my eye and discovered the source of blurriness: I had placed the new contact ON TOP OF the old contact and was wearing two contacst in one eye.

Yesterday, I left my usual strawberry, yogurt, almond concoction (successfully constructed) and the bag of workout clothes I regularly carry with me to work sitting atop my countertop. I didn't realize any of this, of course, until I'd gotten to work and had to find some other breakfast. Returning to my office with a delicious breakfast sandwich and juice I'd purchased from the nearby local bakery, I walked in the door and dumped the entire cup of juice down myself and onto the floor in front of my office. I had to go home to change clothes and alas; my breakfast, sure enough, was sitting on the counter where I left it that morning.

I don't usually do these things. But I think this is karma for disbelieving all the pregnant ladies, friends, strangers, and experts, that I didn't believe when they insisted that a tempororay loss of brain activity was inevitable.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

There are a few thing they don't tell you about pregnancy body changes that I'm currently experiencing first hand ...
First, my teeth and gums are so sensitive. I have to buy the uber-soft toothbrushes to keep my gums from bleeding regularly. Bro-in-law DT is probably thinking I'm just scrubbing the enamel off my teeth with the pressure of brushing. But ALAS, I REALLY barely touch my gums and I could choke on the blood that results - nice visual, isn't it?
Second, I'm sensitive to COTTON - 100% cotton shirt that turned my neck and back red as the color of the shirt. Luckily the irritation goes away but it happens almost every morning. I think nudity should be an option during pregnancy.
Finally, I SWEAR to you that my vision is changing ... for the better. Just a few months ago (approximately 4 1/2), I had to use reading glasses to comfortably read the print on my computer. I used them to take the strain off of flipping from computer to book reading. This meant that I wore contacts AND reading glasses for the whole day. Now, I don't need them. Done. No strain. No squinting. I told the eye doc about this and he acknowledged that there could be a change in my eyes but it's very rare and changes usually occur in the health of the eyes, not the vision. Well, I'm an exception. And what does he know, he's never been preggers? I'm hoping to continue this pattern and maybe next year by this time, I won't need contacts either!

Stay Home!

In a little town that seems to be experiencing an epidemic of flu, H1N1 or otherwise, I feel lucky to have been spared by sickness so far. Three office co-workers were home today and many others in the hallways and across the town have been debilitated by the effects of this terrible flu. Although I extend sympathy to all those who are sick, I am so angry at the people, like the woman in the grocery store, who are in such a public place that she could single-handedly affect a good number of people. The woman was coughing to the point where she had to stop in the aisle to catch her breath because she couldn't walk without rest. She couldn't go 2 feet without coughing. I quickly moved past her and stayed out of her wake but I'm sure we had to cross paths at one point in the small grocery store. I am struggling with the logical side that says she might not have any other choice but to get food for herself. But my emotional side (which is the one that wins out more often than not nowadays), makes me angry and ready to write a letter to the editor to tell people they have to stay home and get well. This epidemic could get a lot worse and affect a lot more people if the sick don't heed the advice of the CDC and other professionals who urge people to just stay home.